An advert has just been on TV for one of those websites that promises you'll find your 'match made in heaven' or whatnot, with some lost soul wanting to find love again as she doesn't want to be the only singleton at dinner parties full of couples. My first thought at this was that this woman is clearly a moron and if I knew her I wouldn't even invite her to dinner parties so she'd have nothing to worry about. But then it got me into thinking mode about the big old search for true love that everyone seems so obsessed with. I just don't get it. Is this what life is really all about?
No-one really knows why we're on this planet, what the meaning of life is, blah blah blah, but is finding the love the closest thing we have to a purpose? And if so why am I not really bothered about it? It's not like I'm scared of commitment, I don't want to be free and single so I can go sleeping around with anyone and everyone, and I'm not a career obsessed loon with my job being my whole life, so why haven't I got the desire to find true love? The man of my dreams? My soulmate? And so on.
Maybe I'm just being the gloomy face of life and love. Maybe after 8 years or so of long-term relationships I'm just being sceptical about them, expecting perfection and not seeing past the flaws and things that can make relationships hard work and therefore not worth the effort. Maybe I'm no longer prepared to settle for anything that isn't just spot on. Maybe I'm just a weirdo. Yes, I like to check out hotties wherever I go (especially at the gym), yes, I love a bit of attention from a cute guy who can make me laugh, but if I was to think of it any further down the line I just, well, I just don't see it further down the line, it just wouldn't work. Why? It just wouldn't, I know it wouldn't, and I wouldn't want it to. Maybe I have some kind of self-destructive cycle thing going on. Too many maybes.
In the time it's taken me to write this that advert has just come on again. "It would be really nice to fall in love again" she says. Nice. Nice? Having a bath is nice. Going for a glass of wine is nice. Is that what finding love is? Nice? Just something on this week's to do list? Buy food; do laundry; fall in love. Is finding love just really about going through the motions? I just don't really don't get it at all.
I do know, however, that they NEED to stop having so many adverts about dating websites everywhere.
That is all.
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